Mom crashed yesterday

Mom came home from work looking exhausted.  Her eyes were sunken into dark sockets.  All she wanted to do was sit o the couch and relax.  She didn't want to eat either.  Dad coaxed her to eat a bit of the left-over pasta with garden vegetables he had made Tuesday for dinner when Nichole had visited and stayed the night so she and Mom could drive to San Francisco together for a business meeting.  He warmed it so so it was palatable, but not so hot it would trigger her nausea.  She managed to eat a small portion which made Dad proud of her knowing that she didn't want to eat but needed to keep up her strength to fight the cancer.  She went to be early.  When Dad went upstairs he looked at Mom and cried.  Her skin was grey.  She looked really sick.

It is hard on Dad to see Mom so ill.  He loves her almost as much as I do, which is a lot.

Smooth(er) sailing

Dad's hand is still swollen, which makes it difficult for him to do simple things like type on his computer.  He has been cooking for Mom and taking care of things around the house as Mom navigates her week of infusion.  She has been doing pretty good this time.  She has taken all the meds the doctor prescribed which cut the nausea and help her sleep.  Her appetite is a bit off because of a metallic taste in her mouth, although she is eating much better than last month.  This morning she took a banana to work which is good because of the nutrients that help her leg cramps, and the calories to keep her strength up.

This session has been much smoother sailing than last month for Mom and the whole family.  And with Dad injured he has been spending more attention on Lou and me.  We are happy dogs when the family is happy and people pay attention to us.  Mom and Dad are talking about having Mom's friend Kathy visit from Portland over the Labor Day weekend since Mom feels strong enough and she likes the company.  Kathy has a dog named Libby, so she should be good to Lou and me too.

Mom tolerated the infusion well

Yesterday morning the house was on pins and needles as Mom prepared to go to the infusion center to get the medicine to fight her cancer.  Dad packed a cooler with waters and yogurt since the treatment takes almost all day.  Mom also took some crackers (which Lou and I love) to help her with the nausea caused by the Bendamustine.  Off they went at 9:15 AM for Mom's 10 AM appointment.  Mom was nervous about the treatment which made her want Dad to do stuff for her.  He is still struggling with his sprained hand, though, which makes it hard for him to lift stuff.  After Dad's pitiful wincing and one-handed manipulation of doors and various items with his big balloon-looking hand, they got off leaving Lou and me to do some barking here.  Lou and I did alot of barking to let the germs and the cancer know we are on the job with able bodies to help Mom any way we can, unlike that old duffer she is married to.

Mom and Dad came home about 3 PM.  Mom was weary from the ordeal, so she went to bed for a nap while Dad ran some errands to ready the pantry and fridge so Mom would have stuff she can eat during this week.  Dad got back home about 4:45 with stuff from Costco and the grocery store.  It took him a half hour of more wincing and one-handed sick tricks to put everything away by which time Mom had gotten up from her nap feeling pretty good considering.  She and Dad went into  the back yard to sit and talk about the day and to update Dad's list of things to get done this season.  It's a long list which took them about 45 minutes to compile. Mom loves to put the list together and mark off stuff Dad gets done, which he does focus on, so I give him credit for that. After feeding Lou and me our rations of kibble, Mom ate the green salad Dad made that included pasta, tomatoes from our garden, fresh mozzarella cheese, orange bell pepper, and avocado with some bread on the side.  Mom ate almost all of it, which made me so proud of her.

This morning we got up at the normal time for more kibble, followed by our usual 2-mile walk up and down the hill we live on.  Then Mom got ready for work while Dad cooked her some fresh blue lake green beans for her lunch.  He also took out the garbage.  Mom went off to work in good spirits.

The doctors and scientists who figure out ways to fight cancer are my heroes.  They are keeping my Mom alive and several of her friends too.  Mom's friend Jacquie had an infusion of Bendamustine and Rituxant yesterday too.  While at the same time, Mark, who is Sandee's boyfriend, is getting chemo and radiation to fight his cancer.  All of these people are so brave and strong to fight their cancers with the drugs and therapies developed by my heroes.  Today I am one hopeful dog.  Thank-you God for giving all of these gifts to my Mom, our friends, and our family.  Now if Dad would heal up it would be almost normal around here.

Dad is an idiot

Mom goes to her next chemo infusion treatment tomorrow.  She wants to get this behind her so she can lead a normal life for as long as God will give her.  Dad is worried about her.  But he is also an idiot.  He was working in the garage yesterday afternoon with his 1/2" chuck electric drill making a hole in his new desk for the wires to come through when the hole saw bound in the oak and sprained Dad's hand.  He hopped around for a while to try to work it out, but it was too badly strained.  He iced it, which made him feel better.  He still had to mow the lawns for the week, which he did with his left hand.  Every once in a while he would wince in pain.  The idiot got the job done.  He also cooked dinner for Mom and Jacalyn and him last night, although his hand was looking like a balloon glued to his arm stump by the end of the night.  Today he took it easy to try to recover so he can support Mom during treatment.  The duffer needs to be more careful!

One of the challenges of being caregiver to a loved one with cancer

Dad is feeling stressed as Mom's caregiver during her treatment because she is very sensitive about her diet.  She will eat most of what Dad prepares, although she does not eat enough lately to keep her weight on.  The week of infusion is the most challenging time of all.  Mom doesn't want to eat anything to start with.  What she does eat, has to be something appetizing enough for her to take enough to keep her strength, while accepting that whatever she eats during this time she will reject later.  That is because humans associate nausea with whatever food they ate last.  It is a normal instinct to avoid eating poisons or otherwise harmful foods.  Chemo therapy causes nausea, but since it is taken through an I.V., when the nausea comes the drugs don't get blamed by the human response, rather the most recent meal takes the rap.  So Dad is stressed to figure out what to feed Mom starting Monday.  In the mean time, Jacalyn is visiting tonight, so Dad is making a special dinner.  He made chutney from our pluots yesterday which goes really great with pork.  Dad went to the farmer's market in San Francisco today to pick up dry-farmed early girl tomatoes and fresh-made mozzarella which he will make into caprese salad using basil from our garden to start the meal tonight.  The star entree is a bone-in, frenched pork loin roast from Golden Gate Meats.  Dad brought the roast home from the market this morning and put it into a brining solution to make the meat juicy and flavorful when cooked.  The butcher gave Dad some dry rub to add for the rotisserie cooking process which will give the meat a complex taste.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.  With the chutney to compliment and fresh English peas steamed for a side dish, it will be a wonderful meal to share with Jacalyn.  Dad wants Mom to get ahead on calories before treatment, so he is working hard to make some wonderful meals this weekend.  Go Dad, go!

I wish Dad would spend as much time, or at least some time, thinking about and planning good meals for Lou and me.  The best we get is a can of dog food once a week (which I love a whole bunch).  Usually it is kibble.  Kibble for breakfast, kibble for dinner, rinse and repeat the next day.  If it wasn't for the tomato patch in the garden and the pluot tree my diet would be like cardboard with vitamins added.  Please Dad, make us a roast of pork!

Mom's big heart

Last night Mom came home early to enjoy the warm weather with Dad out by the pool.  They sat and chatted for about 45 minutes before Dad got up to make dinner.  While Dad was in the kitchen, Mom called her friend Jacque, who is also fighting CLL.  Jacque faces a potentially more serious problem that her auto immune system is failing.  Her doctor is trying Retuxant and Bendamustine to see if it is her CLL causing the auto immune problem.  Her doctor wants to try another drug he thinks will be more helpful, but the insurance company requires the Bendamustine be tried first.  On the one hand, the insurance company is trying to manage costs - these drugs costs thousands each time they are administered.  On the other hand, it seems a waste that Jacque's doctor has to make her take them so she can get what her doctor believes she really needs.  So Jacque is having weekly chemo infusions.  Mom calls her the evening before each treatment to encourage her, and then she follows up the day of treatment to provide support for what Jacque is going through.  Mom has such a big heart.  I wish Mom's friends would call her before treatment and after because Mom has a rough time with just Dad and Lou and me.  We do our best, but Dad and us, we are boys and boys don't help women like other women do.

Last night was warm and muggy.  After dinner there was a heat lightening storm, which scares the bejeebers out of me.  I got so wound up that Mom gave me a valium to calm me down so the family could sleep.  The valium was prescribed for Lou because of his epilepsy, but he has never taken it since he isn't scared of anything and his new drugs do a good job of managing his seizures.  I had a bit of a hangover this morning until after breakfast we walked a couple of miles which made me feel much better.  Let's see what today brings!

Making Plans

Mom likes to make plans, especially for weekends with Dad, friends, and Lou and me.  Chemo therapy has made it difficult for Mom to plan ahead because the recovery of her blood counts and how she feels dictates if she will be able to be with her friends.  So far, Mom's second round of chemo has been delayed because her white counts have not yet recovered to the level necessary to be safe for retuxant infusion.  Mom's bones, like her, are skinny.  She needs more time than the typical patient to rebuild after treatment.  This means Mom cannot make firm plans which drives her crazy.  Normally we have a rolling 3-month plan of parties and outings to see friends, take in shows, and visit family.  The delay of Mom's treatment has meant the changing of plans, which also makes Mom crazy.  And, she isn't planning ahead, so she is stressed because she needs to have things to look forward to, more than blood tests and when will she get medicine that makes her feel terrible...

Lou and me, we are okay with all of this because when Mom has no plans she likes to stay at home, with us.  Today the weather was really warm so Mom and Dad sat by the pool in the warm air reading, chatting and sharing time together with Lou and me. I got to sit intertwined with Mom's feet poolside most of the afternoon. I love Mom!