So far, so good

Dad brought Mom home around 3 from her first day of getting the medicine.  She looked in good spirits.  In fact, she felt good enough to work from home for a few hours while Dad did some yard cleanup.  I am so proud of Mom.  She is a real fighter.

Her white blood count was high, so they did not do the full rituxant treatment today.  Which means Dad will take Mom in to the infusion center for another 5-hour day tomorrow.

Dad made Mom a chicken soup from scratch with fresh peas, red potatoes, carrots, sweet onions, homemade chicken stock, and a freshly roasted chicken.  The hot soup was served over left-over thin spaghetti noodles.  Mom ate all of her bowl plus two pieces of ciabatta bread from the Acme Bakery.  It was good to see her have a healthy appetite and good spirits.

One big thing that helped Mom was the outpouring of support from all of her friends.  She was getting text messages and received encouragement cards in the mail today.  All of which helped keep her spirits high.  Mom knows she is fighting for a life with loving friends, family, and her dogs, especially me.

Mom went to bed at her normal time.  I am sleeping with her tonight to protect her from the cancer so the medicine has the best chance to work.  I love Mom so much.  She is so strong.

Life as we know it changes forever tomorrow

Mom starts chemo treatment tomorrow.  She and Dad went to the wine country to party and escape the reality of Mom's disease.  Lou and I stayed home with Jene.  We missed Mom and Dad so much.  But now they are home and we are happy.

But there is a tension in the air.  Mom is scared about what will happen when she gets the medicine infused.  She is scared that she will throw up, that she will be wiped out and unable to work.  Dad tries to get her to smile and laugh.  It seems to work some.  But it is clear that life as we have know it before Mom got sick will change forever tomorrow.  I hope it is good for Mom 'cause I love her more than life itself.  Please God, help my Mom get better.

Please help

Dad put me on a diet because he says I'm a "lard-butt" dog.  Now I'm not just always hungry, now I am really, really hungry all of the time.  To compensate, I snuck down to the garden this afternoon and ate a bunch of tomatoes that are sweet and juicy.  Then I found two plums on the ground that Dad missed, so I feel much better about myself now.  I have to keep up my strength to help Mom through her treatments!

Mom is having a tough time dealing with having to return to treatment so soon after having gone through it just two years ago.  CLL is a cruel disease that doesn't go away no matter how good you eat, how much you exercise, how many people love you, or how beautiful you are.  It sucks.

Mom talked with her Aunt Mary last night.  She told Aunt Mary that she starts treatment again on Monday.  Mary just brushed it off as if it is no big deal.  Mom was crushed.  Although Mom is always bubbly, sometimes she is also sad inside but doesn't let it show.  She wants to feel like people care about her and are supporting her no matter what. When the chips are down, like they are now, Mom wants people to step up.  She is very critical of how other people support her at this time.  She wants to know that she matters.  Aunt Mary failed the test.

Dad is trying his best.  But he's a boy like me and doesn't always know what to say.  I am a dog so I just wag my tail and snuggle Mom to make her feel better.  It seems to help.  I just wish I had more to eat!

Do I look fat?

Dad says I'm too fat from eating the plums that fall out of our tree.  Mom and I love Santa Rosa plums so much.  They won't give me any so I jump up as high as I can to snatch fruit from the tree.  Once all of that is gone, I have to wait for the delicious purple orbs to fall on the ground.  Dad tries to pick the fruit before it falls but he doesn't get all of it.  I especially like windy days.  Yum.  I also eat tomatoes from Dad's garden.  He yells at me but I just keep doing it because they taste so good and it helps keep the plants pruned back.  I have to do my part to help the family.
Dad is worried that Mom is too thin.  I think she looks great.  But Dad says she needs to keep her strength up during chemo treatment.  Mom doesn't like to eat anything when she gets the medicine.  We are on pins and needles to see what will happen on Monday when Mom gets the medicine again.  Meanwhile, I just saw a plum drop out of the tree.  It's my job to keep the yard clean!

Close friends too

Mom and Dad had a big party on Saturday so Mom could connect with her friends before she starts treatment.  Guess she can't see people as much once they give her the medicine.  That would suck for a dog 'cause we love to be with other dogs and we love seeing friends all the time.  Especially when they give us treats.
She only told a few close friends that the cancer has progressed to stage 4 which will require treatment starting July 15th.  Turns out one of her friends of more than 20 years also has CLL and will be starting treatment soon.  Her disease is different than Mom's.  Her platelets are around 10,000 which is extremely dangerous.  Mom's are around 100,000 which is too low but still manageable.  Mom's friend is on steroids to improve her blood chemistry.  Taking steroids means she can now either play major league baseball as a hitter or ride the Tour de France once she is through treatment 'cause steroids are lunch in those jobs and they pay really well.
Another friend will also be starting treatment next week for cancer of the scrotum.  I don't have my balls anymore since I am a "domesticated" dog, but I still have my scrotum which I lick at least twice a day because I can (apologies for such and old joke).  Cancer there would be the worst for a boy.  I wish him the best.
Out of 35 people who came to our party, 3 will be undergoing cancer treatment starting this month.  That seems like a lot.  Guess it is because they are getting older and stuff breaks when it gets older?

Treatment will start soon

Mom starts treatment on July 15.  She's worried about the side effects of the chemo.  Well, I hope she does okay.
We had a big party on Saturday with more than 35 of mom's friends coming over for pizza and drinks and fun.  I got several pizza "parts"  that were "dropped" by guests.  I'm getting fat.  At least dad says so.  I don't care.  I'm a dog!
Mom wanted to have the party to see her friends before she starts treatment.  She cannot risk too much exposure to other people once she starts 'cause she will have less immune defenses.  I hope she will be okay.  She can still see me and my brother, so I'm here to help her through whatever bad stuff might happen.
Dad and mom were together in the garden today talking.  Mom cried because she is scared to die.  She is worried about dad after she is gone.  Dad doesn't want to go on on without her.  I guess that's love.
Hopefully the medicine will help mom be okay.  It is likely I might outlive her.  I'm 10 which is not young for a golden retriever.  Dad says let's enjoy the time we have together and try not to be sad.
I love mom.  I don't want her to suffer.  I don't want her to die.  Please God, please let the medicine give mom more good life with us.

Stage 4

Stage 4 - apparently there isn't a stage after stage 4 - death?  I don't want Mom to die - what will I do?  I'm just  dog - although handsome - what are good looks if the one you love is no longer with us?  Why did Mom go to stage 4?  It sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks sucks, sucks,...well, you get the picture.  Mom is so beautiful - everyone loves her.  She is kind, kind, kind, generous to a fault and GORGEOUS.  She and Dad made love in the pool house tonight.  It was weird seeing the two of them naked in our back yard.  All of our neighbors are traveling so no one could see.  But, well, Dad is not that good looking naked.   Afterward they danced to the music playing on the pool house audio system.  "I will love after you're gone, gone gone".  What does that mean?
Tomorrow Dad and Mom are going to Santa Barbara by Amtrak.  Jene will be watching us for three days.  She's cool.  I hope she gives me treats.
Why does Mom have to be so sick?