Dad is an idiot

Mom goes to her next chemo infusion treatment tomorrow.  She wants to get this behind her so she can lead a normal life for as long as God will give her.  Dad is worried about her.  But he is also an idiot.  He was working in the garage yesterday afternoon with his 1/2" chuck electric drill making a hole in his new desk for the wires to come through when the hole saw bound in the oak and sprained Dad's hand.  He hopped around for a while to try to work it out, but it was too badly strained.  He iced it, which made him feel better.  He still had to mow the lawns for the week, which he did with his left hand.  Every once in a while he would wince in pain.  The idiot got the job done.  He also cooked dinner for Mom and Jacalyn and him last night, although his hand was looking like a balloon glued to his arm stump by the end of the night.  Today he took it easy to try to recover so he can support Mom during treatment.  The duffer needs to be more careful!

One of the challenges of being caregiver to a loved one with cancer

Dad is feeling stressed as Mom's caregiver during her treatment because she is very sensitive about her diet.  She will eat most of what Dad prepares, although she does not eat enough lately to keep her weight on.  The week of infusion is the most challenging time of all.  Mom doesn't want to eat anything to start with.  What she does eat, has to be something appetizing enough for her to take enough to keep her strength, while accepting that whatever she eats during this time she will reject later.  That is because humans associate nausea with whatever food they ate last.  It is a normal instinct to avoid eating poisons or otherwise harmful foods.  Chemo therapy causes nausea, but since it is taken through an I.V., when the nausea comes the drugs don't get blamed by the human response, rather the most recent meal takes the rap.  So Dad is stressed to figure out what to feed Mom starting Monday.  In the mean time, Jacalyn is visiting tonight, so Dad is making a special dinner.  He made chutney from our pluots yesterday which goes really great with pork.  Dad went to the farmer's market in San Francisco today to pick up dry-farmed early girl tomatoes and fresh-made mozzarella which he will make into caprese salad using basil from our garden to start the meal tonight.  The star entree is a bone-in, frenched pork loin roast from Golden Gate Meats.  Dad brought the roast home from the market this morning and put it into a brining solution to make the meat juicy and flavorful when cooked.  The butcher gave Dad some dry rub to add for the rotisserie cooking process which will give the meat a complex taste.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.  With the chutney to compliment and fresh English peas steamed for a side dish, it will be a wonderful meal to share with Jacalyn.  Dad wants Mom to get ahead on calories before treatment, so he is working hard to make some wonderful meals this weekend.  Go Dad, go!

I wish Dad would spend as much time, or at least some time, thinking about and planning good meals for Lou and me.  The best we get is a can of dog food once a week (which I love a whole bunch).  Usually it is kibble.  Kibble for breakfast, kibble for dinner, rinse and repeat the next day.  If it wasn't for the tomato patch in the garden and the pluot tree my diet would be like cardboard with vitamins added.  Please Dad, make us a roast of pork!

Mom's big heart

Last night Mom came home early to enjoy the warm weather with Dad out by the pool.  They sat and chatted for about 45 minutes before Dad got up to make dinner.  While Dad was in the kitchen, Mom called her friend Jacque, who is also fighting CLL.  Jacque faces a potentially more serious problem that her auto immune system is failing.  Her doctor is trying Retuxant and Bendamustine to see if it is her CLL causing the auto immune problem.  Her doctor wants to try another drug he thinks will be more helpful, but the insurance company requires the Bendamustine be tried first.  On the one hand, the insurance company is trying to manage costs - these drugs costs thousands each time they are administered.  On the other hand, it seems a waste that Jacque's doctor has to make her take them so she can get what her doctor believes she really needs.  So Jacque is having weekly chemo infusions.  Mom calls her the evening before each treatment to encourage her, and then she follows up the day of treatment to provide support for what Jacque is going through.  Mom has such a big heart.  I wish Mom's friends would call her before treatment and after because Mom has a rough time with just Dad and Lou and me.  We do our best, but Dad and us, we are boys and boys don't help women like other women do.

Last night was warm and muggy.  After dinner there was a heat lightening storm, which scares the bejeebers out of me.  I got so wound up that Mom gave me a valium to calm me down so the family could sleep.  The valium was prescribed for Lou because of his epilepsy, but he has never taken it since he isn't scared of anything and his new drugs do a good job of managing his seizures.  I had a bit of a hangover this morning until after breakfast we walked a couple of miles which made me feel much better.  Let's see what today brings!

Making Plans

Mom likes to make plans, especially for weekends with Dad, friends, and Lou and me.  Chemo therapy has made it difficult for Mom to plan ahead because the recovery of her blood counts and how she feels dictates if she will be able to be with her friends.  So far, Mom's second round of chemo has been delayed because her white counts have not yet recovered to the level necessary to be safe for retuxant infusion.  Mom's bones, like her, are skinny.  She needs more time than the typical patient to rebuild after treatment.  This means Mom cannot make firm plans which drives her crazy.  Normally we have a rolling 3-month plan of parties and outings to see friends, take in shows, and visit family.  The delay of Mom's treatment has meant the changing of plans, which also makes Mom crazy.  And, she isn't planning ahead, so she is stressed because she needs to have things to look forward to, more than blood tests and when will she get medicine that makes her feel terrible...

Lou and me, we are okay with all of this because when Mom has no plans she likes to stay at home, with us.  Today the weather was really warm so Mom and Dad sat by the pool in the warm air reading, chatting and sharing time together with Lou and me. I got to sit intertwined with Mom's feet poolside most of the afternoon. I love Mom!

Mom is too thin

Mom and Dad went to see Mom's oncologist today.  She still isn't ready for treatment because her platelet level is too low.  This is a new symptom Mom has developed since her last treatment.  Also, she is getting too thin.  To the point where the doctor went beyond chiding her to getting serious about what will happen if she doesn't gain weight.  Mom needs a buffer to fight potential infection.  Her weight in clothes is around 120 pounds.  For a woman of her stature, that is getting stick-skinny.

Dad is pushing Mom to eat more.  It is causing a little friction between then.  I guess Mom doesn't like being told what to do around her eating habits.  It has always been an area of sensitivity for her.

Me on the other hand, I continue to build my physique into a fatter dog every day because our pluot tree and tomatoes are in full swing now.  Dad has cut my food even more to compensate, and I don't even care because I know I will get three to five pluots a day and several sweet and juicy tomatoes too. I wish Mom would come down to the garden with me and we could eat the fruits together.  Then she would be plump like me.

Preparing for more chemotherapy

Mom and Dad celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary this week.  They were planning to go away for the weekend since 15 years of marriage is a sort of big deal for humans.  They had a difficult time finding someone to sit for Lou and me so they are staying home instead.  I'm good with that because I miss Mom terribly when she is away.  It also seems like she is apprehensive about her upcoming treatment.  She will see her oncologist on Friday.  The expectation is that she will start the second in this series of treatment on the 19th of August.  She was supposed to start today, but her blood isn't ready to take the punishment of the strong medicine.

I can tell Mom is worried and wishes she didn't have to get the medicine again because it makes her so sick and so tired especially the first week of the treatment.  I will do everything I can to help Mom be comfortable and on her way to some good years with her family she loves so much.  I am sorry to see her suffer when she gets the medicine.  It makes me sad.

Another get away weekend

Mom and Dad are going up to Napa to see Allen and Jackie, without Lou and me.  But Jene will be here so we will be safe.  Mom loves Jackie like a sister.  She and Allen are two of Mom and Dad's closest friends.  They have a wonderful property too with two yellow lab pups named Jesse and Jose.  Dad says we can't go up there until I stop fighting with the pups over stuffed toys (I especially like the duck) and Lou doesn't fence fight with their neighbor dogs.  Dad says maybe we can go up in September.  I sure hope so.