Are we moving?

Dad is fixing up the house all over the place.  He is clearing out stuff from under the house, which I like because it gives Lou and me more room in our "man cave" where we spend most of our days sleeping only emerging to bark at a passing dog or the neighbor's cat down by the garden fence.  He fixed walls going up the stairs which was damaged moving furniture.  He is painting too, which I don't like since dog's noses are sensitive to strong smells like paint fumes.  Mom told Dad to get the house fixed up as if we are going to sell it.  Mom likes to have her house neat as a pin but Dad is messy in his office and the garage.  Normally Dad tries to keep things looking somewhat together.  Not like now, though.  Are we going to move out of our house?  Lou and I have only lived here.  We have visited other houses, like Allen and Jacalyn's house in the wine country, which used to be really great until they got Jesse and Jose, who try to take my shoe so I growl at them.  Lou likes to fence fight with their neighbor's dog, which Jacalyn worries will teach Jesse and Jose to do that too.  So we don't get to go there anymore.

Mom loves our house.  She always said this is her favorite house ever.  She and Dad work so hard keeping up the gardens with pretty flowers and bushes, which Lou and I have to dig up from time to time because we get bored with the old stuff and want new bushes and flowers.  The fruit trees, the bocce court, and especially the pool all make Mom so happy. We have really great neighbors too who watch out for us and invite Mom and Dad to parties, and even have a disaster preparedness organization that Dad helps out with. If Mom and Dad move us somewhere else, it won't be as good and it won't be the home we have always known and love so much.  I will bark at anyone who tries to take our house and make me move away.

Felt like Fall today

Northern California weather is unpredictable.  After weeks of mild and sometimes hot weather, today was blustery and cool.  It made me think about Fall when Mom and Dad spend more time in the living room in front of our fireplace.  Lou and I will grow our coats thick, soft and warm so that we pant even on cold days when we walk with Mom and Dad in the morning.  It gives me hope to look forward to the holidays when people will visit, Dad will cook big tasty meals, and Mom will glow with the love of her family and friends.  I am one lucky dog.

Cro Magnon Dog

Dad wanted to play on the stairs so I ducked my head and butted him hard straight on his forehead - I saw stars and he was angry.  Guess his idea of fun and mine, Mr. Cro Magnon Dog, are different!!  That will show him for having an argument with Mom when she is fighting cancer the jerk!

Love

Mom came home somewhat earlier than normal from work to enjoy the warm weather.  She sat on the back deck reading the Chronicle as if it was the best reading in the world.  Dad joined her to support her but he finds the paper to be boring.  Mom loves to read about movies and plays and celebrity gossip.  I have no idea what any of that is because us dogs only know what goes on at the fence and in the yard.  If people who make movies are interesting, Lou and me, we could care less.

The neighbor cat came up limp today as Dad looks after the critters next door.  He stressed about that until he found out the cat is a hypochondriac kitty who is old and pretty much a pain in the litter box.  Lou and me we hate it when Dad goes next door to feed the cat and the bunnies, only because we want him to be safe.  When Mom came home today BOTH of them went next door so Lou and I had do a whole lot of barking to keep them safe.  We wish they wouldn't do that!

Mom is really feeling normal again, although she and Dad talked about what she went through and how to prepare for the next round. She is so beautiful. I love her so much. I want her to be healthy, happy and safe.  She is already gorgeous and loving and so magnetic.  Please God, keep Mom happy for all the years of her life.

Friends with blood issues

Mom came home from work cheerful and full of energy.  It was still warm out so she and Dad sat in the garden and then on the back deck talking and drinking wine.  Mom was really happy and bubbly, just like the Mom that everyone loves so much (I love her no matter what).

Then while Dad was making dinner she called one of her long time friends Jacque who also is fighting a blood disorder.  Jacque is really cool because she loves dogs and is a really good mom with two dogs and two great kids.  Mom especially loves her daughter Annette who is like 14 and looks just like Mom and loves clothes just like Mom.  She is like Mom's minnie me.  Jacque is suffering from a blood disorder that gets a similar treatment that Mom gets, but has different symptoms.  Mom and Jacque have been friends for like 30 years, which, as a dog, is impossible for me to comprehend since I will never see 20.  They love each other like sisters.  They used to work together at some big house called Rohlm Corporation in the Silicon Valley.  Is it coincidence that they both have blood disorders about the same time?  Was there something that caused it from their work in the Silicon Valley?

Mom also connected with Sandee who's man partner is getting treated for cancer of the scrotum.  even thinking about that makes me shiver and bark.  Ugh.  Mark is going through chemo treatment and seems to be doing good so far.  I gave two extra barks tonight to let Mark know we re all hoping and praying he gets through this in good shape.

We are all pulling for Jacque to be okay because she is a wonderful person and Mom loves her alot, and for Mark because he is a good guy and like to come over to watch the Academy Awards every year with Mom and Dad.  Mom has so much on her shoulders, I wish I could do more to help.  Lou and I did extra barking tonight to make sure the cancer and germs and stuff can't get to Mom.  I love you so much Mom, I hope you know that I do all that I can to help you.  We love you so much!

Goodnight.

This is bliss

The weather continues to be warm.  Yesterday Dad harvested all of the lettuce from our garden and then cut the now bolting stalks.  He gives the stalks to our neighbors to feed their two bunnies (Salt and Zebra).  I don't care because dogs don't eat lettuce.  I wouldn't mind chasing those bunnies, though.  Dad plans on transplanting some lettuce seedling sets today that he started in his indoor garden about a month ago.  Apparently lettuce doesn't like to sprout in hot weather, so Dad does it this way.  I think it's boring.

When Mom got home from work she was tired but in good spirits.  She had worked much later than she planned which cut her time on the deck shorter than she would have liked.  She still enjoyed the mild air and light breeze.  Dad made a "refrigerator surprise" salad using some of the lettuce he had harvested.  It also had chicken, avocado, sweet corn, English peas, cherry tomatoes from our garden, and fresh mozzarella cheese from the Farmer's Market all tossed with a fresh-made vinaigrette dressing that  had honey, mustard and molasses blended with some extra virgin olive oil from Napa Valley.  Mom loved the salad and ate a huge plate of it.  That made Dad happy.  It seemed like old times for the family.  It was pure bliss.  No talk about Mom's cancer either.  I just wish the SF Giants were playing better :)

Dog days of summer

It almost feels normal at home, although Mom doesn't like to get up early enough to walk Lou and me.  I miss that.  Hopefully she will feel up to walking us tonight.  She says she doesn't feel like working out during the day so much because the medicine made her tired, so she likes walking with Dad and us boys after work.

The weather is warm, which makes Mom happy.  She loves sitting on the back deck in the warm air.  We live in a microclimate of Northern California where the weather is usually mild with cool evenings which is perfect for a dog with as much fur as I have.  Like me, Mom grew up here so this is heaven to her.  Dad is from Upstate New York where they have hot summers and cold winters.  He likes it here much better.

If this is the new normal, then let the dog days continue.

Progress

Mom went in to the hospital early this morning for a blood test.  Her doctor wants to keep a close watch on the effect of the chemo drugs because she has "skinny bones".  Last time they almost killed her when her ability to fight infection dropped off the charts without them knowing it for two weeks.  Thank God Mom has good hygiene habits and didn't pick up any bacteria or virus then.  She still pets me, so maybe I'm a clean dog, right?  Her test came back with very encouraging results.  The chemo drugs smacked down the malignant white blood cells and she still has enough to fight infection.

Mom came home from work about 5:30 tonight which is earlier than normal.  She and Dad took Lou and me for a walk.  Dad set a slow pace since Mom is still weak from the treatment.  She was really happy to have walked the 1.5 miles with a couple hundred feet elevation change.  I was happy that she was out walking with us.  The air was unusually heavy and the sky was grey.  Very unusual for this time of year, or ever in this area for that matter.  A sub-tropical moisture came in and made us feel like we are living in Florida.

After the walk, Dad cooked a whole pound of bacon, five ears of fresh sweet corn, a pint of heavy cream, and a quart of homemade chicken stock into corn chowder.  Mom ate a half a bowl which was good.  She is eating better and regaining her strength and her personality is returning to reflect the warm and generous soul she is.  It was a good night at home tonight.  We are making progress.

Dad read the blood report and while it looked good that the cancer is being treated, he could see that Mom is changing from the last time.  Two markers of particular concern are her platelets are low.  And she has a market that suggests she might have an infection.  If the infection is lurking, it could really challenge Mom as the treatment continues.  We need for Mom to get the treatment she needs and not have an infection that, well, I don't want to think about it.  Diet affects platelet production so Dad did some digging to find out how to prepare foods that will help Mom.  Turns out, they already do what they should be doing.  Dad will keep making fresh and wholesome foods for Mom.  I just wish he would give me more of them!

Feeling normal

Mom rested this weekend quite a bit which she needs to fight the cancer.  The weather was mild and the gardens gorgeous at home.  Mom wanted to get outside so she worked in the gardens for a few hours then she and Dad sat on the love seat by the pool reading this afternoon.  It was idyllic so I laid at Mom's feet and let sun warm both of us.  This is life at it's best.

Mom and Dad went up to their suite for a bath for about an hour then made love on their bed.  Mom was tired, but she wanted to make love to Dad because it makes her feel normal.  It gives her a sense of purpose and makes Dad appreciate her.  Dad was very grateful afterward.  I was just bored because it meant they were too busy to pay attention to their dogs.  Afterward they fed us canned dog food, which, by the way, I love more than anything.  It wasn't normal for us like it has been, but it is bringing us to a new normal.  If it makes Mom happy, then we are all happy.

Why does Mom have this disease?  She is wonderful, everyone loves her.  she has so many friends many of whom have been friends since she was young, like six.  Yet she has this disease that may kill her and she isn't even sixty yet.  Why? It makes Dad sad so I push my head into his crotch so he pets me.  I love Dad but I really love Mom.  She exercises and eats right, but then she gets cancer.  Why?  The world is a better place with Mom in it, so many people believe that and want Mom to be okay.  Dad is losing it.  Someone help him, please.

Rest Day

Mom took it easy today to rest up from taking the medicine and a tough work week.  She walked us with Dad in the morning.  Then Dad took her to the farmer's market in San Francisco.  They had lunch at a cool place in the Ferry building.  Then they came home, did some yard work and Mom took a long nap.  I slept with her on the bed to keep the cancer away so she can get better.

Dad cooked some really awesome New york steaks on the grill tonight.  Lou and I got fat trimmings which were divine.  It was good to see Mom eat dinner.

After Mom went to bed Dad cried really hard in the family room.  What's wrong with him?  His tears made Lou's fur wet, but Lou didn't care.  In fact, Lou seemed to want to make Dad feel better so he wagged his tail and licked Dad's reddened face.  Dad needs to pull it together because Mom needs him and Lou and I need him to be strong.  Dad is the rock of this family.  If he loses it, we will all be in a bad place.  I grunted when Dad came to snuggle me to let him know he needs to step up and be a man.

Today is better than yesterday

CLL is incurable.  Once treated with chemo therapy there will be a relapse, which means more treatment.  Each time it is treated the remission periods are shorter with reduced quality of life.  The medical scientists are looking for better treatment for the disease.  For now, Mom is one of many people who are into their second treatment.  The drugs available now are better than what she had two years ago.  Although she feels worse than she did two years ago with nausea being the most difficult and sleeplessness a close second.

Today Mom came home in better spirits than yesterday.  It is a better day today than yesterday and hopefully the trend will continue.  Mom and Dad don't have any plans this weekend other than letting Mom rest.  That's cool for Lou and me because we love hanging out by the pool with Mom.  The pluot tree is starting to ripen and there are lots of tomatoes on the vines that are sweet.  It will be a good weekend.

CLL is evil

CLL is evil.  Mom came home from work last night looking completely exhausted.  Her eyes were sunken into dark sockets and she spoke in a whisper.  Dad made her drink some water with electrolytes to rehydrate her.  The chemo medicine makes her kidneys work really hard as it clears her blood which takes alot of fluid out of her system.  It also puts her at risk for kidney stones if she doesn't drink enough fluids to keep her kidneys functioning normally.

I decided the way to help was to rearrange all of the family room furniture by rubbing my jowls and wriggling on my back.  Even though the room was a complete wreck when I was done, it made Mom smile.  That is what she needed.  I was glad I helped her.

Then she ate her dinner too!  Dad made hamburgers which he almost never makes at home because they aren't the healthiest for humans although us dogs love them like candy.  Dad thought she might eat if he tempted her with something she really likes and is chock full of calories and iron.  It worked.  She at a cheese burger with onions, fresh tomatoes from our garden, mayo, mustard on a toasted potato bun.  After she ate she really perked up and was happy watching the Tour de France with Dad.  When Dad did the dishes he gave Lou and me each a hunk of the cheddar cheese that had melted onto the serving platter.  Yum.  I hope Dad makes hamburgers again real soon.

She went to bed a bit early, which was okay because she needs her rest to fight the cancer.  When she got up this morning she was complaining about cramps in her calf muscles and asked Dad to make her a strawberry smoothie because it has bananas in it.  She also commented that she feels better today.  Dad was really happy that Mom was feeling like she needed food.  He made the smoothie with two bananas, fresh strawberries, sheep's milk yogurt, whole cow's milk, ice and some honey to sweeten it and add calories.  Mom said it tasted good as she tipped out the door to work this morning.

I will do all I can to fight the evil CLL to keep Mom safe.  Lou and I have been doing alot of barking this morning to let that CLL know we are on the job.  This weekend we will all be home as a family and I'm going to make sure it is as safe and as comfortable as possible so Mom gets the rest she so desperately needs.

Tough Sledding

Mom went to work today.  She hadn't had any dinner last night and wasn't hungry tonight.  She was crabby, too.  The medicine is making her tired as it fights the cancer in her body.  Dad did his best  to be cheerful.  But he was discouraged by Mom's fatigue and the way she treated him.

Then my brother Lou had a seizure.  Lou is epileptic which means he takes really fun drugs every day. He used to have seizures every day until the vet figured out the cocktail that would minimize his suffering.  He has a seizure every 3 or 4 months now.  Well, tonight he had a grand mall.  When he starts a seizure he tries to jump on Dad because Dad comforts him through the ordeal.  Lou's body goes completely stiff and his eyes stare straight out.  Dad pets him and gently blinks his eyes for him.  It seems to help Lou to have Dad do that.  Mom was moved by Lou's predicament and it seemed to soften her mood.  A tough way for the family to come back to an even keel...Tough sledding in a dog's parlance.

Mom went to bed early and I stayed in the family room with Lou and Dad.  Lou is doing good now so Dad and I are going to go comfort Mom.  Please God, help us through this rough patch.

Mom is so strong

Mom had her second treatment today.  She did great because I slept on the bed with her and kept the cancer from hurting her any more.  She ate breakfast and even lunch during her infusion.  Afterward she came home and walked Lou and me over a mile and and a half with Dad.  Mom is so strong.  I love her and that is what makes me strong.  The cancer will not kill her before I go to dog heaven, I am sure of it.  It will be hard on mom when I pass, but that will be years from now.  I know that she will remember me with love and that is what life of a dog is all about.

Dad was really happy today too.  He loves Mom almost as much as I do.  He was with her for both treatments this week.  He does all he can to take care of her.  Just like I do.  We are both like that - like dogs - loyal, loving, not too much about talking, but Mom knows we love her and will do anything we can to keep her safe.  She has to fight the cancer from inside her body.  Dad, me and Lou, we do everything we can from beside her.  I will sleep so good tonight knowing she is getting better.

Dad says we have to keep it up, though, because the medicine will be working inside Mom's body which will make her susceptible to infection.  Dad says he will sanitize the house every morning so Mom has the best chance at home possible.  It worries him when she goes to work because there can be germs hiding at her work.  If I were there with her no germs would dare touch Mom.  All I can do is help Dad at home.  Lou and I will bark alot so that germs don't dare come hurt Mom.

She didn't eat dinner tonight which worried Dad a lot.  He does what he can to encourage her, but food is not a priority for Mom like it is for me.  I would eat her dinner if Dad would give it to me.  Dad is worried she will get too thin and won't be strong anymore.  I will show Mom that eating is easy if anyone will give me food.

Dad and Mom looked so happy tonight.  I love being their dog.  Lou and I love them so much.

Goodnight!

So far, so good

Dad brought Mom home around 3 from her first day of getting the medicine.  She looked in good spirits.  In fact, she felt good enough to work from home for a few hours while Dad did some yard cleanup.  I am so proud of Mom.  She is a real fighter.

Her white blood count was high, so they did not do the full rituxant treatment today.  Which means Dad will take Mom in to the infusion center for another 5-hour day tomorrow.

Dad made Mom a chicken soup from scratch with fresh peas, red potatoes, carrots, sweet onions, homemade chicken stock, and a freshly roasted chicken.  The hot soup was served over left-over thin spaghetti noodles.  Mom ate all of her bowl plus two pieces of ciabatta bread from the Acme Bakery.  It was good to see her have a healthy appetite and good spirits.

One big thing that helped Mom was the outpouring of support from all of her friends.  She was getting text messages and received encouragement cards in the mail today.  All of which helped keep her spirits high.  Mom knows she is fighting for a life with loving friends, family, and her dogs, especially me.

Mom went to bed at her normal time.  I am sleeping with her tonight to protect her from the cancer so the medicine has the best chance to work.  I love Mom so much.  She is so strong.

Life as we know it changes forever tomorrow

Mom starts chemo treatment tomorrow.  She and Dad went to the wine country to party and escape the reality of Mom's disease.  Lou and I stayed home with Jene.  We missed Mom and Dad so much.  But now they are home and we are happy.

But there is a tension in the air.  Mom is scared about what will happen when she gets the medicine infused.  She is scared that she will throw up, that she will be wiped out and unable to work.  Dad tries to get her to smile and laugh.  It seems to work some.  But it is clear that life as we have know it before Mom got sick will change forever tomorrow.  I hope it is good for Mom 'cause I love her more than life itself.  Please God, help my Mom get better.

Please help

Dad put me on a diet because he says I'm a "lard-butt" dog.  Now I'm not just always hungry, now I am really, really hungry all of the time.  To compensate, I snuck down to the garden this afternoon and ate a bunch of tomatoes that are sweet and juicy.  Then I found two plums on the ground that Dad missed, so I feel much better about myself now.  I have to keep up my strength to help Mom through her treatments!

Mom is having a tough time dealing with having to return to treatment so soon after having gone through it just two years ago.  CLL is a cruel disease that doesn't go away no matter how good you eat, how much you exercise, how many people love you, or how beautiful you are.  It sucks.

Mom talked with her Aunt Mary last night.  She told Aunt Mary that she starts treatment again on Monday.  Mary just brushed it off as if it is no big deal.  Mom was crushed.  Although Mom is always bubbly, sometimes she is also sad inside but doesn't let it show.  She wants to feel like people care about her and are supporting her no matter what. When the chips are down, like they are now, Mom wants people to step up.  She is very critical of how other people support her at this time.  She wants to know that she matters.  Aunt Mary failed the test.

Dad is trying his best.  But he's a boy like me and doesn't always know what to say.  I am a dog so I just wag my tail and snuggle Mom to make her feel better.  It seems to help.  I just wish I had more to eat!

Do I look fat?

Dad says I'm too fat from eating the plums that fall out of our tree.  Mom and I love Santa Rosa plums so much.  They won't give me any so I jump up as high as I can to snatch fruit from the tree.  Once all of that is gone, I have to wait for the delicious purple orbs to fall on the ground.  Dad tries to pick the fruit before it falls but he doesn't get all of it.  I especially like windy days.  Yum.  I also eat tomatoes from Dad's garden.  He yells at me but I just keep doing it because they taste so good and it helps keep the plants pruned back.  I have to do my part to help the family.
Dad is worried that Mom is too thin.  I think she looks great.  But Dad says she needs to keep her strength up during chemo treatment.  Mom doesn't like to eat anything when she gets the medicine.  We are on pins and needles to see what will happen on Monday when Mom gets the medicine again.  Meanwhile, I just saw a plum drop out of the tree.  It's my job to keep the yard clean!

Close friends too

Mom and Dad had a big party on Saturday so Mom could connect with her friends before she starts treatment.  Guess she can't see people as much once they give her the medicine.  That would suck for a dog 'cause we love to be with other dogs and we love seeing friends all the time.  Especially when they give us treats.
She only told a few close friends that the cancer has progressed to stage 4 which will require treatment starting July 15th.  Turns out one of her friends of more than 20 years also has CLL and will be starting treatment soon.  Her disease is different than Mom's.  Her platelets are around 10,000 which is extremely dangerous.  Mom's are around 100,000 which is too low but still manageable.  Mom's friend is on steroids to improve her blood chemistry.  Taking steroids means she can now either play major league baseball as a hitter or ride the Tour de France once she is through treatment 'cause steroids are lunch in those jobs and they pay really well.
Another friend will also be starting treatment next week for cancer of the scrotum.  I don't have my balls anymore since I am a "domesticated" dog, but I still have my scrotum which I lick at least twice a day because I can (apologies for such and old joke).  Cancer there would be the worst for a boy.  I wish him the best.
Out of 35 people who came to our party, 3 will be undergoing cancer treatment starting this month.  That seems like a lot.  Guess it is because they are getting older and stuff breaks when it gets older?

Treatment will start soon

Mom starts treatment on July 15.  She's worried about the side effects of the chemo.  Well, I hope she does okay.
We had a big party on Saturday with more than 35 of mom's friends coming over for pizza and drinks and fun.  I got several pizza "parts"  that were "dropped" by guests.  I'm getting fat.  At least dad says so.  I don't care.  I'm a dog!
Mom wanted to have the party to see her friends before she starts treatment.  She cannot risk too much exposure to other people once she starts 'cause she will have less immune defenses.  I hope she will be okay.  She can still see me and my brother, so I'm here to help her through whatever bad stuff might happen.
Dad and mom were together in the garden today talking.  Mom cried because she is scared to die.  She is worried about dad after she is gone.  Dad doesn't want to go on on without her.  I guess that's love.
Hopefully the medicine will help mom be okay.  It is likely I might outlive her.  I'm 10 which is not young for a golden retriever.  Dad says let's enjoy the time we have together and try not to be sad.
I love mom.  I don't want her to suffer.  I don't want her to die.  Please God, please let the medicine give mom more good life with us.